WRITE NOW THERAPY!

Are you living or existing? What’s the difference? I equate “existing” to living like an insect or animal, or as fish or bird does. One is born, eats, poops, sleeps, and procreates and then dies. In-between these essentials in life one passes the time wandering, swimming, flying, crawling, surviving. For humans what does passing the time mean? What do you do beyond the basics of sustaining life (eating, sleeping, pooping)? What do you do to entertain yourself without reason other than for the sake of entertainment? This is existing.

Living in a similar context is creating a life in which you have a purpose. What is your purpose? What is the reason you were put here in this place, at this time? This may seem like an unanswerable task. For centuries, people and philosphors have studied the cosmos wondering why we are here. The question for you isn’t so broad or philosophical. Finding out what your individual purpose doesn’t have to be difficult. However, you may have buried it away out of fear or complaceny. That said, you need to ask yourself how happy you are in life. Focusing on purpose leads to you finding your happiness.

PURPOSE EQUALS HAPPINESS

Having meaning or purpose in our life is what propels us forward. Our purpose in life is very individual depending on what we have going on in our life. Our purpose may be derived from our being a parent or taking care of a loved one who without our help could not take care of themselves. When that child or love one no longer needs the care we had to give them, we are often left will an empty hollow feeling. That emptiness comes from our not having purpose in our life beyond the parenting stage in our life. We may feel useless and without reason simply because we did our job and the care we were providing is no longer needed.

This doesn’t have to be the end of our purpose. One purpose may have ended but we’re still alive and that simply means there is another purpose to our being alive. The end of anything simply means the beginning of something else.

Finding our purpose can be one of life’s greatest challenges. I know it was the greatest challenge I faced in my own life. I suffered from meandering through jobs that were unfulfilling. This created in me no sense of purpose or a sense of who I was. I suffered great bouts of depression, addiction, and self-destructive behaviors. Ultimately, I got the help I needed to start me on a path of self-discovery for myself and my purpose.

YOUR OWN EGO HAS NO LASTING PURPOSE

Often we will look inside ourselves and try to find the something that will make us happy, successful and fulfilled. Unfortunately, our ego loves to take the driver’s seat and will set us on a course where we believe our purpose is all about us. What can we do? What can we be known for? What will make us rich and famous? These are all unfulfilling expeditions. When we focus on our self, we may find outward success but that outward success will not fill the void that true purpose gives.

Look at the suicides or drug addicted overdoses so many famous celebrities have. They have found that outward success. They are rich and famous but obviously those things do not fill the void of true purpose. It isn’t about what we can do or get for ourselves. It is about what purpose we can do for others. What we can contribute to the world and people around us. Having a “cause” for the greater good of mankind (whether for a small group like your family or society at large).

Neurologist and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl developed Logotherapy which is based on the premise that the primary motivational force of an individual is to find a meaning in life.  Logo being the Greek word for meaning. In his own life, Frankl was a holocaust surviving who wrote his best-selling book, an autobiographical story, titled Man’s Search for Meaning about his finding meaning during the tragic episode of his life in a concentration came which he ultimately used to form the basis of his existential analysis for the “power of meaning.”

He discovered those who found purpose in their lives in the most horrendous situation in life survived where as those without hope, without a focus on purpose, struggled to survive and more times than not met their end. Similarly, in studies within the inner city, people who struggle to find meaning in their life and hope for a future are easily influenced into a life of crime and despair.

You certainly are not likely in either of those tragic places in your life. Yet, you struggle similarly in your life to find a reason to move positively forward. “Without purpose, people perish.”

MODERN CONVENIENCES DEPRESSING BOREDOM

Our modern living has taken out of our human existence so much of what humanity had to endure in lives past. Ancient man hunted and gathered, wandered in tribes, surviving life and death battles with disease, natural enemies, attacks and primitive wars. Modern living has removed most of these from our day-to-day existence. There are so many modern conveniences that we don’t even think about most anymore. It is just a part of life.

This modernization has made it that most of us choose what we “war” against. We choose our worries and battles and in nearly all cases we make them up because compared to what ancient man had to live through our lives are simple. So we complicate our simple lives with problems we create. Through sheer boredom modern man with all of  the conveniences doesn’t know what to do with him or herself any longer. Our melancholy of living, our boredom, our lack of necessity to push ourselves, creates in us a life of “existing.” So much is provided to us now that we struggle with finding our purpose because what does it really matter to the world what I do.

FINDING MEANINGFUL PURPOSE

If you don’t know what your purpose is in your life right now, I’m sorry. The good news is you can find it. You may just need to take some time to gather information about yourself in order to find it. Sounds like a headache? I get that. Any time we have to dive below the surface of who we are, it can be difficult. There is likely pain there that is holding back what we want. Fear of failure or embarrassment can lock us frozen in our avoiding what it is below the surface.

Perhaps we don’t even know who we are anymore. Who you are can be part of the biger purpose picture problem. When we attach our identity to being something to someone else; a parent, a child, a spouse or partner, when that relationship ends, we are left looking in the mirror and can no longer understand who we are without that person in our life. You’re attaching your worth or purpose to someone else ultimately leaves you hollow inside. It is for this reason you must find your own purpose that goes beyond a simple relationship attachment and gives your life meaning in other purposeful ways.

WHO AM I?

‘Who am I?” becomes part of the problem with what our purpose is. You need to know who are are, yourself, before you can find your purpose. It can be hard to figure things out, particularly on your own. I work with people all the time in helping them find themselves and their purpose. Having a coach or a mentor makes this journey much easier than doing it alone. However, someone can’t find it for you. You have to do the difficult work of figuring yourself out and finding your purpose.

Having a coach or mentor helps but it can’t be done by them. Studies show that writing as a form of therapy can take you a long way to improving both your mental and physical health. Journaling can be one of the best guided ways of working through your own issues, finding yourself and a purpose out there. As a mental health coach, my studies have led me to create guided journals with a series of questions to help you through this path to hopefully an outcome of true discovery.

The road to figuring out who you are and what your purpose is can be very challenging. You have to be willing to dive deeper and look at who you are honestly to find our the answers. Not an easy task but also not impossible.

Here are some resources available to you on this website to help you start your journey of discovery: