WRITE NOW THERAPY!

Writing as therapy has been proven in numerous studies to improve overall mental and physical health. The great thing about writing as therapy is that there are no real limits or restrictions in what you need to do to feel better. There are plenty of articles and studies that demonstrate specific guidelines or options for how to do it if needed. However, you should not limit yourself to these suggested options. Feel free to write what feels more comfortable to you.

The specific requirement is to not dwell on the event or issues over and over again as you are telling what happened as if it is a news report. The goal of writing as therapy is not to relive the event over and over again. Instead, you need to express how you feel about what has happened. It is more important for you to connect with your emotional state when writing. More so than giving a simple blow by blow of what has happened over and over again.

NOT JUST “DEAR DIARY”

This is where therapeutic writing differs from simple writing in a diary which is usually a recounting of the events that happened. However, you should not over think this. Start with whereever you feel more comfortable but be willing at some point to push yourself when you feel comfortable to do so.

If you find yourself repeating the event over and over, it likely means you are afraid to go deeper. Expression of feelings or emotions, even to yourself, can be challenging. We know what pain feels like and we avoid it as much as possible. However, you’re not helping yourself by holding back.

SET YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS

When you find yourself repeating what you are writing, you likely need to dedicate more time to it in one writing sessions. When we start and stop and start again because of life’s other interuptions (like going to work, taking care of the kids or household or all  the other things that come with life), our brain constantly has to restart itself down the path again. It is like the movie “Groundhog Day” where you find yourself covering the same ground over and over again.

In fact, in mental health coaching, I generally encourage a client to write non-stop for as long as they can. It is best to set aside a few or several hours in a day (maybe on a weekend or at night) and simply write whatever comes to mind without stopping. The goal is to just write for as long as you can non-stop until you cannot think of anything else to write about.

START WITH “FREE-WRITING” & GO WHERE IT WANTS TO TAKE YOU

This “free-writing” exercise may take you several hours to complete. The idea is to give yourself as much time as possible to clear out all the garbage, trivial, unimportant things that will pop in our mind when we start. We will do anything to prevent ourselves from going deeper. Emotions hide behind much of our thoughts. Trivial thoughts are easy cover for what lives beneath.

HERE’S HOW TO DO IT

To do this, set aside several hours (up to 6-8 hours). Grab a snack (apple, granola bar) and drink (coffee, water, tea) to set next to you. When pressed to think about emotions, they can also hide behind our “need” for something to eat or drink or even go to the restroom. Like I said, we will do anything to avoid having to push ourselves deeper into our emotions.

Next grab a blank notebook, journal or pad of paper, your favorite pen and a couple of back up pens or pencils. We want to avoid the excuses of running out of ink, paper, and even “hating the way this pen writes” (more excuses to avoid emotion).

Typically, “free-writing” will start something like this: “I’m writing because I was told to start writing but I have nothing to write about…I am just thinking about what I should write about and nothing is coming to my mind. I know I need to do laudry tomorrow because I have nothing to wear. I wonder where my blue sweatshirt went? Did I leave it somewhere? With someone? Or is it in my car or did I leave it at someone’s house. I should probably take some time to clean the house. It’s a mess. I always let it get out of hand when I am feeling down about myself. What a loser. I’m sitting here writing about what stupid chores I have and that is all I can think about. I have no life. That is the problem. What is life to me? What does having a life look like. Hmm. Having a life to me looks like…”

CLEAR THE CLUTTER, TRIVIAL TO-DO LISTS

You let your brain take you where it wants you to go. Often we have many small things in our head that clog our connection to our deeper thoughts. Chores, errands, and grocery lists dance at the front of our mind telling us not to forget about them. It becomes easy to push what is meaningful or truly necessary to  the back of our mind behind small things that cushion us from what we may be avoiding.

When starting a path of writing for your mental health, you need to start by writing a “to do” list of those things at the forefront of your mind. Clean out as much as you can of the frivilous stuff and let your hand/mind connection work its magic without you having to put much thought in. The thoughts at the front get written first. Then continue to write what ever comes to your forefront. Eventually, you will have nothing else blocking you from getting to what needs to be dealt with. 

I’m sure there are some of you who are saying to yourself, “I’m ready to get rolling. I don’t need to empty my head of anyway. I just need to get going!” That’s great. I just ask that you keep in mind this as an option. Sometimes we can start off on our writing journey and think we are ready but we, at some point, may come up against writer’s block. We may get to a point where we’re stuck and we can’t write anymore. Use this non-stop free writing stragety if or when that happens.

Again, it doesn’t matter what you write, the important thing is to write down what comes into your head and let the thoughts flow naturally.

SPELLING, GRAMMAR, OR GETTING IT ‘RIGHT’ DON’T COUNT

Don’t worry about how it sounds, how things are spelled, what the sentence structure or formatting looks like. That doesn’t matter. NO one is going to read this. So be honest and be authenic with what you write. You’re the only audience for what you are writing so there is no reason to spruce it up, exagerate, or embelish what you are writing. If you find yourself doing that STOP! You need to take a break and get yourself back on course. When we focus on how what we are writing sounds, our mind is trying to derail our efforts and is working to avoid what we need to be looking at.

Our minds are very crafty at protecting us from the pain it sees. Our brain knows that when we feel emotional pain it effects our body. Stress, sadness, and emotional pain has physical effects on our body and our brain knows our history and tries to avoid such things. It is a fight or flight reaction that tells us we are in danger and we are naturally designed to avoid any danger we come across. Our brain thinks it is protecting us. Unfortunately, it is only prolonging the pain we need to address.

STILL CAN’T GET STARTED?

If getting started has you frozen, there are plenty of guided journals available for different specific problems which can be very helpful. Guided journaling will provide prompts which focus your attention on something specific as it relates to the issue you are needing to work through or get over.

In addition, mental health professionals trained in the various forms of writing therapies can be very helpful in your journey of recovery. Whether a marriage and family therapist or mental health coach, there are good options availabe.

NEED PROFESSIONAL HELP?

Narrative therapy is a form of writing therapy where the client and the mental health professional work on “reauthoring” the dominant story the client tells about their life or a traumatic event that the client has lived through. The therapy works to remove negative assumptions a person makes about themselves because of the event and reworks the story as seen through a different perspective that paints the person in a different, less negatively affected light.

I highly recommend you do your research on both the therapy model being used and the mental health professional before committing to someone or something. Starting off with someone who ultimately doesn’t work for you will prolong and even derail your recovery (sometimes perminently). This is why it is important to do your research before commiting to a personal therapist or coach.

Ultimately, writing therapy is something most can work through on their own. It is an easy and economic way to start working through whatever is holding you back or can’t get over. There are plenty of articles on this website designed to help you start writing as therapy on your own. Working with a therapist or coach remains an option if you are finding the issues you are facing are more than you can work though on your own. However, I suggest you start the work yourself and see where it takes you. There can be immediate gratification through taking small steps now. Writing can be a very positive experience. Why not get started now.